Monday, December 12, 2011

Forever Protected


Before the universe was even created
The devil’s scheming was already frustrated
The sin of the saints was completely negated
For patiently Jesus our Savior awaited
To descend to death and ascend resurrected
Bringing salvation to those God had elected
By faith alone is the poor sinner perfected
And by God’s mighty grace forever protected

(c) 2011 Jonathan Garner

Friday, December 9, 2011

What She Saw

I made this for the Photo Manipulation of the Month Contest on the Holy Worlds Christian Fantasy Forum. It seems like it has the potential to inspire a thriller story.



(c) 2011 Jonathan Garner

Monday, December 5, 2011

5,000 Views: Top 5 Posts: #1

In celebration of my blog passing 5,000 views, I've been counting down the top five most popular posts in the history of the blog. We've finally reached the top post, one that has held its place as the most popular for a very long time. It was knocked off the top spot a few times, but has always climbed back to #1 before long.

Thank you for reading!

#1 Four Seasons (illustrated by BushMaid)

(c) 2011 Jonathan Garner

Friday, December 2, 2011

5,000 Views: Top 5 Posts: #2

In celebration of my blog passing 5,000 views, I'm counting down the top five most popular posts in the history of the blog. Can you guess which one is the most popular? Which one is your favorite?

This one was written recently and quickly became my most popular post at the time, though it was later knocked from the top.

#2 Rattlesnakes

(c) 2011 Jonathan Garner

Monday, November 28, 2011

5,000 Views: Top 5 Posts: #3

In celebration of my blog passing 5,000 views, I'm counting down the top five most popular posts in the history of the blog. Can you guess which one is the most popular? Which one is your favorite?

This was my first published story:

#3 The Coming

(c) 2011 Jonathan Garner

Wednesday, November 23, 2011

Thank You

Thank you to everyone who reads my blog, and thank you for every encouraging comment. Since it's the week of Thanksgiving, I'm going to finish counting down the top 5 most popular posts in the history of my blog next week. After that, I'll return to regular posting, and in the near future, I hope to introduce some new things to the blog.

Tuesday, November 22, 2011

5,000 Views: Top 5 Posts: #4

In celebration of my blog passing 5,000 views, I'm counting down the top five most popular posts in the history of the blog. Can you guess which one is the most popular? Which one is your favorite?

This one was a bit surprising:

#4 The Aliens Conquered Earth Using Cuteness

(c) 2011 Jonathan Garner

Monday, November 21, 2011

5,000 Views: Top 5 Posts: #5

In celebration of my blog passing 5,000 views, I'm going to count down the top five most popular posts in the history of the blog. Can you guess which one is the most popular? Which one is your favorite?

I'll start with:

#5:  The Black Spot

(c) 2011 Jonathan Garner

Thursday, November 3, 2011

Temptations


I made this using "The Temptation of St. Anthony" by Martin Schongauer, with various alterations by me.

The verse that is referenced is: No temptation has seized you except that which is common to man. And God is faithful; He will not let you be tempted beyond what you can bear. But when you are tempted, He will also provide a way out so that you can stand up under it. -- 1 Corinthians 10:13 (NIV) 

(c) 2011 Jonathan Garner

Monday, October 31, 2011

The Spider and the Devil


The threads of a spiderweb are hard to see
So unwary prey will be trapped easily
And once entangled they cannot get free
And the spider will feast on them with glee
For there is no one to save them

The threads of iniquity are hard to see
So unwary men will be trapped easily
And once entangled they cannot get free
And the devil would feast on them with glee
But there is Someone to save them

(c) 2011 Jonathan Garner

Thursday, October 20, 2011

The Four Seasons (A Child's Perspective)

 Here is a compilation of all four seasonal pictures and haiku written from a child's perspective. Since it's Fall, I'll start with that season.


 (c) 2011 Jonathan Garner

Monday, October 17, 2011

Gothic



On a dark and stormy night, everyone in the mansion slept, except Mr. Bates. He entered his niece’s dark room holding a knife.
   
A tap at the window awoke his niece, and a handsome young man entered, dripping wet. “Has your uncle tried to kill you yet?”
   
“Not yet.”
   
The lovers kissed, and simultaneously a shadow stabbed the man in the back.
   
As the body hit the floor, the young woman cried, “Uncle, why?”
   
Mr. Bates pointed to the knife clutched in the dead man’s hand. “He did not know I was in the room.”
   
His niece understood, and fainted.
   
(c) 2011 Jonathan Garner

Monday, October 10, 2011

The Puppet Master

This poem was also featured on the Holy Worlds Blog.

On a stage, right behind a black curtain
Stood dolls of light incarnate
The puppet master smiled and was certain
That the crowd’s fears would abate
Once they saw each tiny innocent smile
On faces so young and pale
Once the puppets spoke, negating all guile
The story they were to tell
Up went the curtain, there the stage of white
Where angelic voices soared
The crowd enthralled by the children of light
Let past warnings be ignored
The puppet master smiled, whispering words
Watching his child puppets play
In the shadows crept the ones who had heard
And got their task underway
The crowd was smiling, laughing, and crying
The beauty leaving them awed
They did not see, their perception dying
That around them dark things crawled
The shadows kissed their new prey with delight
Fleeing as the curtain fell
The crowd left, a darkness over their sight
Believing that all was well
But in the night, as their hearts beat faster
They woke to a dreadful sound
Caught in the web of the puppet master
Laughter echoed all around

(c) 2011 Jonathan Garner

Monday, September 26, 2011

The Aliens Conquered Earth Using Cuteness

 Here is one of my wildest six word stories, with an equally wild accompanying picture. What do you think? Too wild, or amusingly zany?



(c) 2011 Jonathan Garner

Thursday, September 22, 2011

Unicorn Falls

 A tiny picture I made for a photo manipulation contest.

 
(c) 2011 Jonathan Garner

Monday, September 19, 2011

He Didn't Know His Own Secret

Here is a six word story picture, based on a six word story I wrote for Holy Worlds Christian Fantasy Forum's six word story challenge.
 
 
 
(c) 2011 Jonathan Garner

Friday, September 16, 2011

I Am the Way


I made this through random experimentation, so it's rough in some areas, but I was pleased overall with how it turned out.

(c) 2011 Jonathan Garner

Tuesday, September 13, 2011

Rattlesnakes


Rough hands grabbed me in the dark.
I fought, but their grip grew tighter,
ropes binding my hands behind my back.
I knew what they had come for,
I knew that I was about to die.
They mocked me, calling me Mr. God-man,
for they had no fear of the Lord;
no one did in this secluded desert town.
“What am I doing here?” I asked myself,
as I had done many times before,
“Did I think I could change these people?
If they don’t fear the laws they see,
why would they fear the unseen?”
There was only one place they could be taking me:
Under the city hall was a cellar
where no one who was pushed in
ever managed to come out alive.
I saw a crowd gathering,
flashlights beaming through the night.
None of them said anything;
they all just watched with satisfaction.
No more would I preach on the street corners.
No more would I convict their sinful hearts.
There was no trial for me to state my case.
There was no judge to convict me.
Judge and jury had convened out of sight;
my guilt had already been determined.
They shoved me towards the slanted doors,
opened to reveal the pitch black cellar.
The ropes were removed, my hands freed,
but I couldn’t hope to fight my way
through the mob of glaring people.
“Let your God save you now,” they said,
as they shoved me into the hole
and locked the twin doors behind me.
The second I hit the cold earth below,
I heard the slithering bodies, the hissing,
the hundreds of rattles shaking in chorus
like an orchestra of demonic babies.
Perhaps it would have been natural to give up,
to let death come swiftly.
That was what I had been planning to do.
But as the fangs of the first snake sank in,
I found myself reciting a verse from the Bible
that said that those who believe in God
shall take up serpents and drink poison
and no harm will come to them,
and then another verse which said that the saints
will trample snakes and overcome all evil power.
And I knew then that, like Daniel in the lion’s den,
I would live through the night.
I lay still, praising God.
I felt the snakes slithering over me.
I felt them biting me again and again.
I felt their rattles vibrating against my skin.
But I knew that I was safe,
for the pain grew less and less,
and there in the darkness I went to sleep,
the snakes surrounding me and on me.
Hours later, at dawn, I awoke to see light
shining through the opened cellar door.
I started to get up, and the snakes struck again,
clinging to me with their fangs as I walked,
writhing against my skin like giant leeches.
A crowd watched me from outside the cellar,
the looks on their faces telling me much.
Some were terrified, some were weeping.
Some ran away, while others fainted.
None were unmoved by what they saw.
And from that moment on, they had no doubt
that the Lord was to be feared above all,
even more than the bites of hundreds of rattlesnakes.

(c) 2011 Jonathan Garner

Tuesday, September 6, 2011

Red Rain by Aubrey Hansen

Today is the release of Aubrey Hansen's first book, Red Rain, a science fiction novella which I have read and enjoyed twice. Rather than tell you about it, I will let the excellent book trailer speak for itself:

Sunday, September 4, 2011

Free Stuff: Aubrey Hansen's Red Rain Bookmarks

Need some bookmarks? As part of the promotion for her book Red RainAubrey Hansen has free bookmarks available to print and cut out.  Click here for the bookmarks.


Wednesday, August 31, 2011

Friday, August 12, 2011

Six Word Dinosaur Stories



Here are some six word dinosaur stories that I wrote for Holy Worlds Christian Fantasy Forum’s six word story challenge:

A pterodactyl flew by the airplane.

Cars and dinosaurs filled the streets.

The dinosaurs battled the robotic army.

(c) 2011 Jonathan Garner

Thursday, August 4, 2011

Even More Six Word Thrillers



Here are some more six word thrillers I wrote for Holy Worlds Christian Fantasy Forum's six word story challenge:

She never knew who rescued her.

The last secret letter told all.

The dead man had a plan.

(c) 2011 Jonathan Garner

Monday, July 25, 2011

Spring (A Child's Perspective)

This is the last of four haiku about the seasons, written from a child's perspective, capturing a vivid moment in the Spring.
 
 

(c) 2011 Jonathan Garner

Monday, July 18, 2011

Winter (A Child's Perspective)

This is the third of four haiku about the seasons, written from a child's perspective, capturing a vivid moment in the Winter.



(c) 2011 Jonathan Garner

Monday, July 11, 2011

Fall (A Child's Perspective)

This is the second of four haiku about the seasons, written from a child's perspective, capturing a vivid moment in the Fall.



(c) 2011 Jonathan Garner

Thursday, July 7, 2011

Six Word Animal Stories


Photomanipulation by Jonathan Garner

Here are some six word animal stories that I wrote for Holy Worlds Christian Fantasy Forum's six word story challenge:

The wingless bird bore the message.

The adopted dog won the war.

The snake’s bite saved his life.

(c) 2011 Jonathan Garner

Monday, July 4, 2011

Summer (A Child's Perspective)

This is the first of four haiku about the seasons, written from a child's perspective, capturing a vivid moment in the Summer.



(c) 2011 Jonathan Garner

Friday, June 24, 2011

Mysterious (A Picture Story)

Here is what I'm going to call a picture story. It is a picture that could inspire many different stories. I created this picture for a word art challenge on the Holy Worlds Christian Fantasy Forum, for the word "Mysterious".



(c) 2011 Jonathan Garner

Thursday, June 16, 2011

Sole Survivor

This drabble was written for a challenge on the Holy Worlds Christian Fantasy Forum. The challenge was to write a story using three words randomly picked from a dictionary, and the words I had to use were: manage, genre, and sole.

"Sole Survivor" photo manipulation by Jonathan Garner

How would he manage to reach the end of the tunnel? He ran harder, gasping for breath, hearing other footsteps in the darkness. The horror genre had always thrilled him, but not living in a real horror story.

When they had tried to rob the drug lord, a ruthless bodyguard appeared from the shadows, calmly dealing death. Now he was the sole survivor of the horror that had been unleashed in the underground passages.

A bullet flew past into a square of light. He burst out of the tunnel still running, promising himself to go straight once and for all.

(c) 2011 Jonathan Garner

Thursday, June 9, 2011

Book Review: The Prisoner of Zenda by Anthony Hope


When an English nobleman travels to the European kingdom of his ancestor, he just wants to escape his sister-in-law’s nagging about him being a good-for-nothing. However, shortly after his arrival, he finds himself in the complicated position of impersonating the king in order to stop an evil Duke from taking over the kingdom. Things are complicated even further by his duty of romancing the king’s intended bride and the fact that the king is imprisoned in a place where no rescue seems possible.

When The Prisoner of Zenda by Anthony Hope was first released, it popularized what came to be called the “Ruritanian romance”, a type of novel that got its name from Ruritania, the kingdom in which most of the events in The Prisoner of Zenda take place. It is worth nothing that at the time of the book’s release romance still meant adventure rather than the modern meaning of the word. It’s easy to see why it was popular then--the swashbuckling adventure of the narrative, the intrigue among the upper classes of society, and the touch of ultimately tragic romance. It still holds up well today for those who like historical adventure novels, even if the “history” is entirely fictional.

Content issues are all minor: A few mild swear words; an unnecessary doomed romance between the protagonist and the real king’s intended bride that involves kissing; and some sly references to an affair that produced the protagonist’s ancestor as well as even vaguer hints at the immoral behavior of some of the villains. I don’t really have any additional criticisms for this novel, other than that, while it is quite good, it left me with the feeling that it could have been better than it is.  For those who like historical adventure, or who just want to experience the novel that first popularized swashbuckling adventure set in a fictional kingdom, The Prisoner of Zenda should prove entertaining.

(c) 2011 Jonathan Garner

Thursday, June 2, 2011

More Six Word Fantasy Stories

Here are some more six word stories that play around with fantasy genre cliches:

The sorcerer’s severed head kept laughing.

The dragon devoured his bonded rider.

The Dark Lord saved the hero.

(c) 2011 Jonathan Garner

Tuesday, May 24, 2011

Book Review: The Unseen by T. L. Hines

When a man who spies on other people in public places runs into a group that spies on people in their homes, he feels their methods are immoral, but his encounter with the group sets off a violent chain of events involving a government agent who appears to be a Chinese spy, a tangled government conspiracy, a man who is followed by a swarm of wasps, and all sorts of other bizarre people and events that collide and lead to an incredible confrontation.

The Unseen by T. L. Hines is expertly written, though the prose and plotting grow slightly less tight as the story progresses, and at times story elements get so wild they threaten to send the novel over the top. However, it manages to hold it all together until the end, delivering plenty of twists and turns along the way, keeping the reader off balance and staying consistently entertaining. I will note that, for a “Christian” thriller, there is no overt Christian content. It’s basically just a clean thriller, which is fine if that is what you are looking for.

(c) 2011 Jonathan Garner

Tuesday, May 17, 2011

The Dark Forest

This drabble was inspired by two separate challenges on the Holy Worlds Christian Fantasy Forum. One was a challenge to write a story from a single picture, and I chose Dieki Kondrael's "Magical Forest", which can be seen below. The other was Aubrey Hansen's challenge to write a story from a single Bible verse, and I chose 2 Corinthians 11:14 (NIV): Satan himself masquerades as an angel of light.


To see more of Dieki Kondrael's art, visit http://www.diekisdreamings.com/


After an hour, Mateo stopped searching for the path. He was lost in the dark forest.

He held back tears. The monastery would send a monk to find their favorite foolish boy.

Suddenly floating dots of light appeared and danced around him.

Fireflies?

Fairies?

Warm and happy feelings made him drowsy.

He lay down on the ground, surrendering.

“Never sleep in the forest,” the monks had warned. “Evil dwells there.”

He yawned and blinked.

Could the lights be evil?

“Jesus,” he whispered sleepily.

The lights floated backwards.

He stood up.

“Jesus.”

The lights fled.

Looking down, he saw the path.


(c) 2011 Jonathan Garner

Tuesday, May 10, 2011

Six Word Fantasy Stories

Here are some fantasy six word stories that play with genre cliches:

The dragon surrendered the treasure willingly.

The elf’s last arrow flew false.

The dwarf sorely needed his axe.

(c) 2011 Jonathan Garner

Wednesday, May 4, 2011

More Six Word Thrillers

Here are some six word thrillers written for Holy Worlds Christian Fantasy Forum's six word story challenge:

The policeman hid the bloody knife.

His bulletproof vest saved him again.

"This coffin is uncomfortable," he muttered.

(c) 2011 Jonathan Garner

Friday, April 15, 2011

The Black Spot

This is my second published story, which was originally published in Fear and Trembling Magazine in 2010. Unlike my other horror story, it comes with no warning, and is suitable for all readers who like scary yet uplifting fiction.


Everyone always said that Maggie Dunn might never win a beauty contest on earth, but she was certain to win one in heaven. Her nose and ears might be too big and her eyes and lips might be too small and her hair might look like an explosion of frizzy orange wires, but her heart was just right.

Her neighbors and her fellow members at the First Baptist Church had all learned to see past her uncomely exterior and were always happy to come over to her house for good food and spiritual encouragement. She kept her house spotlessly clean, just like her soul, and that was why she was so upset to come into her living room one day and see a black spot on the hardwood floor.

“How did that get there?” she wondered.

She tried to scrub the black spot away using soap, and when that didn’t work she tried alcohol, and when that didn’t work she tried bleach and every other cleaning solution she could find. None of them made the black spot go away, nor even lessened the pitch black color one iota. The black spot was only about the size of a penny, so she sat a potted plant over it.

The rest of her day was spent working at the library and volunteering at the First Baptist Church’s homeless outreach. When she got home and sat down on her couch to rest, something didn’t seem right. It took her a few minutes to figure out what it was. She stared around the room, her eyes finally coming to rest on the black spot. It was now the size of a tea saucer.

Jumping up, she rushed over to the black spot, wondering what had happened to the potted plant she had used to cover the spot, and how the spot had grown so big so fast. The only explanation she could think of was that the black spot had swallowed the potted plant. After all, it was by no means a normal black spot, like a stain. It was pure black, as if it was the doorway into a void where nothing existed except darkness.

To test her theory, Maggie went into the kitchen and got a can out of the trash. Coming into the living room, she stood by the black spot, holding the can directly over it. Taking a deep breath, she dropped the can. It seemed to fall in slow motion, going closer and closer to the black spot. She expected it to bounce off the black spot and prove that it was just a weird stain on the floor.

Instead, the can went right into the black spot and disappeared. Maggie’s eyes widened and she backed away, clutching her chest. Had she just seen what she thought she saw, or was she going crazy? The black spot grew a little bigger. No, she couldn’t be going crazy. The Bible said that God had given her a sound mind. That meant the black spot was as real as could be.

Maggie fed the black spot some more trash, to see what would happen. With each piece of garbage, the black spot grew larger, until it was the size of a car tire. She resolved to try and starve it, feeling sick. But she felt even sicker when she remembered that she was hosting the First Baptist Church’s women’s brunch at her house in two days, on Saturday afternoon. She didn’t want the women to see the black spot in her house, which was always spotless.

“Dear God,” Maggie prayed, “please make the black spot go away.”

She prayed this prayer many times that night and early the next morning. She headed off to work hoping that the black spot would be gone when she got home later. But, after eight hours at the library and two hours at the First Baptist Church’s homeless outreach, she arrived home to find the black spot still the same size.

“Dear God,” Maggie kept praying, “please make the black spot go away.”

This prayer was on her lips through the rest of the day and night. She tried not to be too disappointed when the black spot was still there the next morning. Only one day was left until the women’s brunch at her house. She went to work and volunteer with a heavy heart, arriving home sure she would find the black spot still there on her living room floor. And sure enough, it was.

As she cleaned her house to make it ready for the women’s brunch, she couldn’t keep her mind off the black spot. Dusting, scrubbing, mopping, sweeping, and shining, she kept remembering the black spot and praying for God to make it go away. While vacuuming off her couches, she got her foot caught in the electrical cord, and when she tripped it knocked the vacuum into the black spot.

The vacuum cleaner disappeared, like everything that went into the black hole, and Maggie wasn’t too sad, being that the vacuum cleaner was old and didn’t work too well anyway. Still, she hadn’t noticed that the electrical cord was caught around her leg, and she found herself being pulled towards the black spot, as if the cord was a spaghetti noodle that it was slurping up.

“Oh, God, no!” she cried.

Having eaten the vacuum cleaner, the black spot had grown much larger, easily large enough to swallow a little spinster. Maggie tried to grab onto nearby furniture, but she lost her grip and found herself sliding into the black spot. Inch by inch she passed into darkness, until only her fingers were grasping the edge of the hole.

By swinging her feet, she made the vacuum cleaner’s electrical cord slide down her leg and off the tip of her foot. Hope surged with her, and with a strength she didn’t know she had, she pulled herself out of the black spot and onto her living room floor. She had to lay on her back awhile to catch her breath, her heart pounding like she was the nail and it was the hammer.

“Thank You, God,” Maggie said. “I wasn’t ready to come home yet. And I certainly didn’t want to come home in such an unpleasant way.”

Tired, but glad to be alive, she went back to cleaning her house. She was just clapping her hands together at a job well done when she heard the back door open. She always left her back door unlocked until she went to bed, in case one of her neighbors wanted to come visit. Wondering which neighbor would be coming over this late at night, she started to head through the living room.

Maggie came face to face with a big, mean-looking man. He had a large knife in one hand, and he was showing his teeth in a shark-like grin. His eyes were wild as he walked towards her, looking her up and down. She wasn’t sure whether he was a demented rapist, a demented thief, a demented serial killer, or just run-of-the-mill demented. Whatever the case, she knew what to do.

“God,” she prayed, “please protect me.”

The big man walked slowly towards her, like a vicious alley cat stalking a soft city mouse. Maggie had nowhere to run, the man blocking the only way out of the room with his massive frame. Her eyes were drawn to the black spot, which was between her and the maniac. He was walking towards it without even seeing it. Being soft-hearted, she was about to warn him in the hopes of getting him some professional psychiatric help, but she was too late.

Just as she opened her mouth, the man stepped onto the black spot. Or, perhaps, into would be a better word, for he fell like a rock being dropped into a well. He didn’t make a sound, the darkness swallowing up his feet, his legs, his stomach, his chest, his arms, and finally his wide grin and wild eyes. The teeth and the eyes seemed to stare out of the black spot for several seconds after he was gone, and she looked away.

Once she got up the nerve to look again, the black spot was the size of a small table. She was about to edge around it when, like a giant mouth, it began closing, the dark circle growing smaller and smaller until it was nothing more than a dot. And just like that, it was gone. Her floor, like the rest of her house, was spotless.

“Thank You, God,” Maggie whispered.

(c) 2011 Jonathan Garner

Tuesday, April 5, 2011

Bee Haiku

I wrote this for the Holy Worlds Christian Fantasy Forum's haiku challenge, and added the text to a picture:


 (c) 2011 Jonathan Garner

Tuesday, March 29, 2011

Six Word Bible Stories

Here are some six word Bible stories I wrote, all having to do with the word “rock”, for Holy Worlds Christian Fantasy Forum’s six word story challenge:

Jesus, arisen, rolled the stone away.

One rock took down the giant.

Water began pouring from the rock.

The house on the rock endured.

(c) 2011 Jonathan Garner

Wednesday, March 23, 2011

A Few More Six Word Stories

Here are a few more six word stories I wrote for Holy Worlds Christian Fantasy Forum’s six word story challenge:

"Oh, no," he whispered. "It escaped."

He realized the treasure map's authenticity.

Deep underground, his flashlight batteries died.

They discovered the coffin was empty.

(c) 2011 Jonathan Garner

Friday, March 18, 2011

Scales of Gold

This story won the Holy Worlds Christian Fantasy Forum’s Christmas contest in the drabble category, and here is a link to where it was published on the Holy Worlds Blog: "Scales of Gold".

(c) 2011 Jonathan Garner

Monday, March 14, 2011

Follow the Road

I wrote this drabble story for the Holy Worlds Christian Fantasy Forum's challenge to write a story from a picture. It was inspired by Jordan Miller's picture "The Road".


The heavens were changing: Darker days and brighter nights, stars growing in size and number. Everyone saw it, including Nodin.

Some said it was the end of the world. Some said a new age was dawning. Nodin’s dreams told him judgment was coming.

He had once sinned like the rest. But no more. The Holy One spoke to him, telling him to flee and follow the road.

So he did.

Then the stars fell.

The cities were consumed.

But he, and the others who forsook their sins and took to the roads, were safe.

It was time to rebuild.

(c) 2011 Jonathan Garner

Wednesday, March 9, 2011

Dark and Strangely Warm

Here is a drabble I wrote for Aubrey Hansen’s Bible verse story challenge on the Holy Worlds Christian Fantasy Forum. This story was inspired by Proverbs 11:7 (NIV), which says:

“When a wicked man dies, his hope perishes; all he expected from his power comes to nothing.”


King Orman awoke. His room was dark and strangely warm for autumn. Since he had went to bed before sunset due to feeling ill, he must have left the window curtains closed.

“Servant!” he cried.

No answer.

He cursed as he got out of bed. “Lazy servants. I’ll do it myself, and execute them in the morning.”

Something moved in the darkness.

“Show yourself!”

No response.

“I am the King!”

“Not here.” Red eyes appeared. “Here, you are one of the damned.”

“This is my castle!”

Other red eyes appeared. “No, Orman. You died, and now you are ours.”

(c) 2011 Jonathan Garner

Monday, March 7, 2011

And More Humorous Headlines

Here are yet some more humorous headlines I wrote for Holy Worlds Christian Fantasy Forum’s six word story challenge:

Headline: Monopoly Dollars Found In Safe

Headline: Pet Spider Deflects Arachnophobic Mugger

Headline: Police Chase Motorcycle Riding Orangutan

(c) 2011 Jonathan Garner

Friday, March 4, 2011

More Humorous Headlines

Here are some more six word headlines I wrote for Holy Worlds Christian Fantasy Forum's six word story challenge:

Headline: Kangaroo Gets Loose On Plane

Headline: Polar Bear Swims English Channel

Headline: President's Speech Interrupted By Frog

(c) 2011 Jonathan Garner

Thursday, February 17, 2011

Four Seasons (illustrated by BushMaid)

Here are my haiku of the four seasons, illustrated by BushMaid:

Summer's heat shadowed
Wind swirling and rain falling
The thunderstorm comes

Leaves shiver and fall
Skeletal trees feel the chill
Animals hiding

Seeds sleep in the ground
On a dark and snowy night
Waiting for the sun

Birds chirp with gladness
Spring is painted emerald
Living things revived

(c) 2011 Jonathan Garner

Tuesday, February 15, 2011

"A Haiku About Haiku" and "Four Seasons"

Here's "A Haiku About Haiku":

Haiku are a form
Of Japanese poetry
As this one explains

I also wrote four haiku to represent the "Four Seasons":

Summer's heat shadowed
Wind swirling and rain falling
The thunderstorm comes

Leaves shiver and fall
Skeletal trees feel the chill
Animals hiding

Seeds sleep in the ground
On a dark and snowy night
Waiting for the sun

Birds chirp with gladness
Spring is painted emerald
Living things revived

(c) 2011 Jonathan Garner

Tuesday, February 8, 2011

Six Word Humorous Headlines

Here are three more six word stories I wrote for Holy World Christian Fantasy Forum's six word story challenge:

Headline: Armless Man Wins Piano Competition

Headline: Elephant Found On Skyscraper's Roof

Headline: Blind Man Steals Priceless Painting

(c) 2011 Jonathan Garner

Thursday, January 27, 2011

Six Word Thrillers

Since I like thrillers, I decided to write a few six word thrillers for Holy Worlds Christian Fantasy Forum's six word story challenge:

Lots of blood, but no body.

Familiar handwriting on a ransom note.

His gun was missing a bullet.


(c) 2011 Jonathan Garner

Wednesday, January 19, 2011

Don't Blink

This poem was originally published in TeenAge in 2009.


Don’t blink.
You’re watching the latest in entertainment technology.
That’s right, smile.
Isn’t this everything you’ve ever wanted?
Virtual seduction
by a hologram of today’s hottest celebrity.
Get high on drugs
without ever poisoning your obese body.
Mindless violence
to make you feel like an action hero.
A thousand different worlds
to make you forget your failures in this one.
The price? Well...
The price is something even the poorest can pay.
In scientific terms,
you could say that you’re paying nothing.
Give us your soul,
or you’ll miss all we have to offer.
We promise
to shock you until you can be shocked no longer,
until you live
in a prison of fulfilled desires and sated lusts.
All hope is gone,
because there’s nothing left to feel,
except perhaps
the great mystery of death.
Now blink.
Close your eyes to the boring spectacle.
Take the razor;
slide it across your sun-starved wrist.
Just remember
to leave us everything in your will.
After all,
we made you who you are today.
Did God
ever show you vomit in 3D high definition?
Did Jesus
ever scream profanity in your ears?
Embrace nihilism:
Nothing is everything and everything is nothing.
Laugh with us
at the pointlessness of love and family.
Smile, child of paradise;
just close your eyes and let the blood flow.
Wait a minute!
What do you think you’re doing?
Stop ripping
out the wires that connect you to us!
You’re ours!
What is heaven compared to this?
Zzzztttt!

Friday, January 14, 2011

More Six Word Stories

Here are two more six word stories I wrote for Holy Worlds Christian Fantasy Forum's six word story challenge:

One man. One knife. One anaconda.

One deer. One grizzly. Twelve wolves.

(c) 2011 Jonathan Garner

Friday, January 7, 2011

Six Word Stories

Here's a six word story format I've been experimenting with for Holy Worlds Christian Fantasy Forum's six word story challenge.

First, serious:

One revolver. Six bullets. Seven enemies.

Then, less serious:

Two legends. Two guitars. One duel.

And now humorous:

One snake. One toilet. Many screams.

(c) 2011 Jonathan Garner