Friday, June 29, 2012

Imagine All the Vampires...


Just for fun, I wrote a parody of the Twilight series by Stephenie Meyer and the song "Imagine" by John Lennon. For those who don't know, Twilight is a popular vampire romance with some issues, and "Imagine" is a popular atheist anthem that is disturbing to anyone who takes the time to think about it. Put the two together, and you get... Well, you'll see soon enough. Imagine Edward or any other Twilight-style vampire singing these lyrics.


"Imagine" (Twilight Version)

Imagine you’re a vampire
It's easy if you try
No coffin to hold us
When we kiss life goodbye
Imagine all the vampires
Drinking blood like me...

Imagine there's no humans
It isn't hard to do
We can all suck on wildlife
And never have to chew
Imagine all the vampires
Sharing all the blood...

You may say I'm just creepy
But my books are widely read
I hope someday you'll join us
And the world will be undead

Imagine no Van Helsing
I wonder if you dare
No need for stakes or garlic
And no one left to scare
Imagine all the vampires
Sparkling like me...

You may say I'm just creepy
But my books are widely read
I hope someday you'll join us
And the world will be undead


This is obviously a bit different than my usual posts. What do you think of it?


(c) 2012 Jonathan Garner

14 comments:

  1. Oh wow. I saw Imagine once, illustrated (the art managed to work in other things, like antisemitism) and assumed it was just some wacked-out artist's thing. It left me a bit disturbed. I didn't know it qualified as an anthem.

    Ahem. Nice parody.

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    1. Wow. It's a strange song, and very popular.

      Thank you, Kat!

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  2. This is amusing. ;) I haven't heard the song, but I know I'm disturbed by those vampires!

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    1. Thank you, Grace! A lot of people are. ;)

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  3. I LOVE IT, Jonathan. xD Great work.

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    1. Thank you, Elizabeth. :D And thank you for commenting.

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  4. * chuckles * Very funny, Jonathan. :D I must admit though that the reason I was reluctant to read it was first that I thought it was a shared YouTube video (thanks to my iPod :P) and also that I quite like the instrumental version of the song that Tommy Emmanuel covered. I don't know the words and didn't realize that the song was so atheistically inclined. o.O Pity, it has a nice melody. :P

    But very funny lyrics, they rhyme really well. :D Great job! I'd like to see more posts like this. ;)

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    1. Thank you, BushMaid!

      Yes, it has a nice melody. But the lyrics aren't so nice...

      I'll consider further posts like this. :)

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  5. *catches up on all the blog posts she had to read in her inbox *

    I like it. I think it is eerie and a bit twisted, but that is the point. It was funny to see you combine those two though, Jonathan. :D

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    1. Yes, that was the point. :D

      Thank you, Kaitlyn!

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  6. That was hilariously disturbing... or the other way around. Very creative. :D It would be awesome if you did more unusual posts like this!

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  7. As a person who initially liked Twilight (an embarrassing thing to admit) and now finds it incredibly childish, annoying, and dumb, I love any (clean) parodies. :D This was really funny.

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    1. Thank you, Elizabeth! I'm glad you liked it.

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